Recent Riots in the UK

The rioting in a number of cities around the UK has caused much press coverage and outrage, and quite rightly so. And now there are many reasons being suggested as to what lies behind the riots.

In my world, reasons can be interlinked with excuses and that therefore, everyone involved in the rioting is responsible for his or her own actions.

Ultimately, we are all responsible for ourselves, for our actions, our behaviour, our emotions and thereby the lives we create for ourselves.

This can be quite unpalatable for people to accept, and part of my role in working with clients, is to help them understand that they always have a choice, even if the choice is painful, hard work or expensive, it is non-the-less a choice.

By acknowledging the choices, we have it within ourselves, to start to take greater control of what is happening around us and to start to create the life we want.

Of course it is always easy to make excuses why we cannot do something, why someone is causing us pain or grief; it can be easy to list the reasons why something is difficult because to take responsibility for the choices invariably means some sort of effort from us.

It is all too easy to blame others, give reasons or excuses for doing or not doing something than take responsibility for yourself...real courage and strength is recognising that there is another way and then taking it.

One of the ways I can help my clients to explore the alternatives is to use NLP techniques and to help them to understand what stops them from taking positive action in another direction.

Of course all those who have been part of the riots will be blaming the Government, society, their parents, the Establishment, anybody or anything, for what they see as the 'reason' for their behaviours. But at the end of the day, it is simply that they are all responsible for themselves.

Just for today, take responsibility for your thoughts and behaviours....

Self Esteem

Self esteem allows us to hold our held up high, to believe in ourselves and feel confident whilst being amongst others.

But it is not a given, and under the wrong circumstances can quickly be eroded.

How often have you felt that sinking feeling when you see someone else who is more beautiful, successful, clever, more talented than you? Each time you do this, you erode your own self esteem. Each time you compare yourself to someone, and you come off worse, you are knocking yourself that little bit more, chipping away at who you really are.

Despite what we are led to believe, we are not all made equal. Some of us excel in sport, others in the classroom. Some of us are made to be leaders and others of us followers. And we all play a vital part, our contribution may just be different. Where would a sportsman be without spectators? Where would a leader be without followers?

So it is very important to keep the Bank of Self Esteem in credit at every opportunity you can.

Maybe you are brilliant at listening? Or maybe you are excellent at solving problems? Managing your money and still having some left at the end of the month? Or making a great meal? Or if your self esteem is so very low, as simple as making a fantastic cup of tea….Everyone (no exceptions!) has some good, strong and excellent points…focus on them.

Start topping up your self esteem, by noting (preferably written down, as the very act of doing so changes your perspective) all your good points.

When was the last time you did that? Notice your good points?

Just for today, focus on your good points